Now that we have received all the information about our babygirl's health possibilities our trips to the doctor have been a bit more mundane. When I go to the doctor I get an ultrasound, a non-stress test, and then a quick visit with the doctor. Last week, however, I got to go on a field trip to the NICU. I was excited--who doesn't like a field trip--but then I was reminded me that even though we have so much good news about this baby, she still has to spend some time in the NICU. I didn't cry, but perhaps got a little misty when the social worker instructed that she will be carted away to the NICU shortly after she is extracted from my womb. I'll get to see her before she goes, but briefly. (This will depend on her ability to breathe through her nose.) Luckily I have a sweet husband that will be able to go and be with her while I am getting stitched up. After I am all done I get to be wheeled up to spend some time with her before I go to my recovery room.
Walking through the doors of the NICU made everything seem more real. I was encouraged to know that sweet babygirl will probably be the biggest baby there. (As she is right now, she's probably already bigger than the babies in there.) All the other babies were so tiny, it broke my heart to see them--so fragile and delicate, and all hooked up to monitors. It made me want to gently cuddle each of them. But I wasn't allowed to. But I will have twenty-four access to my baby when she is there. Both my husband and I will. And chances are my husband and I will try to be there for the full twenty-four each day. Even though she will share a wing with other infants, we can curtain ourselves off for private time with our baby, including nursing time.
She will be hooked up to monitors, just like the itty bitty babies, and in the early hours of her life will have an MRI and an echocardiogram so that her doctors will know exactly what we are dealing with. My husband and I feel bad that she has to be poked and prodded so soon, but I know we will be relieved with the information given.
And now a note about visitors. Since most of you don't live in the area this doesn't really apply, but for the few readers in the area this may be pertinent. Since I am having a c-section, we will be in the hospital for at least three days, and wouldn't mind a visit. Keep in mind that visits to the NICU might be a tad tedious since only the baby can only have to visitors at a time, and one of those visitors must be a parent. (This translates to one guest at a time.) Additionally, children under the age of twelve are not permitted. We will not feel unloved if everyone decides to wait until we are home to make a visit.
I am glad that I was able to take a tour of the NICU. I am reassured that my baby will be in good hands with 24-hour doctors and nurses. I am relieved that we will have so much access to her. (I look forward to seeing her so much.) And with what we do know I am so hopeful that she will be coming home with us. We have twenty-two more days until she comes out. (Unless she has her own ideas, and let me tell you, there are days when I want her out now. But that sentiment comes from sleepless nights thanks to all the stomach acid I choke on every night...but that's about me.)
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
Understanding Miracles
Right now Babygirl and I are having music time. I turn on an Accuradio classical channel and we listen while I do stuff on the computer. I think she likes Chopin and Dvorak the best. She has a tendency to move around a bit more when we listen to their works. Although her movements could be her attempts to stretch out. She's breech, and her little head often makes an appearance at the top of my belly. At our ultrasound on Friday, her weight was estimated at 5 pounds 12 ounces--that's about one pound more than your average baby at 34 weeks. So I wonder how big she'll be when the doctors take her out on April 11th. I think I should be glad I am having a C-section.
I do want to thank everyone who continues to pray along with my husband and me. When we were at our most grieved, we talked about the miracles of Jesus Christ, especially of the man healed of the palsy, and wondered if anything so grand could happen for our little baby. We mustered up our faith and decided to ask for a miracle. For our baby to be healed.
Even though the recent ultrasound still showed a growth on Babygirl's nose, and while we are still uncertain of her health conditions, I feel that a lot of miracles have taken place already. One of those miracles is the restoration of hope. After that dark day I didn't have as much joy in her movements, but now I feel so much happier when she moves around. Even more than before we knew she had any problems. Now each push, flip, hiccup, and kick (even the ones to my bladder) fill my heart with the sweetest elation and hope that everything will be ok after all. That is what makes the restoration of hope such a great miracle. It teaches me that even when things could potentially be worse I feel confidence and faith in a Heavenly Father who has everything under control. If my husband and I didn't have that divine reassurance, we would still be worrying and crying over the unknowns that still exist.
I also know that miracles begin before we even ask for them. That is how I feel about all the doctors and medical staff we have talked to recently. These people have trained and prepared to bring miracles to people who need it. So if our daughter's path leads to surgeries and special care, I know that miracles will follow because it has been in the works much longer than we have ever knew.
That is how I will know that all the miracles we have been praying for will happen (or have happened) even if the bump on her nose turns out filled with essential brain matter. I have faith and hope that they will.
I do want to thank everyone who continues to pray along with my husband and me. When we were at our most grieved, we talked about the miracles of Jesus Christ, especially of the man healed of the palsy, and wondered if anything so grand could happen for our little baby. We mustered up our faith and decided to ask for a miracle. For our baby to be healed.
Even though the recent ultrasound still showed a growth on Babygirl's nose, and while we are still uncertain of her health conditions, I feel that a lot of miracles have taken place already. One of those miracles is the restoration of hope. After that dark day I didn't have as much joy in her movements, but now I feel so much happier when she moves around. Even more than before we knew she had any problems. Now each push, flip, hiccup, and kick (even the ones to my bladder) fill my heart with the sweetest elation and hope that everything will be ok after all. That is what makes the restoration of hope such a great miracle. It teaches me that even when things could potentially be worse I feel confidence and faith in a Heavenly Father who has everything under control. If my husband and I didn't have that divine reassurance, we would still be worrying and crying over the unknowns that still exist.
I also know that miracles begin before we even ask for them. That is how I feel about all the doctors and medical staff we have talked to recently. These people have trained and prepared to bring miracles to people who need it. So if our daughter's path leads to surgeries and special care, I know that miracles will follow because it has been in the works much longer than we have ever knew.
That is how I will know that all the miracles we have been praying for will happen (or have happened) even if the bump on her nose turns out filled with essential brain matter. I have faith and hope that they will.
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